You don’t need more minutes. You need better ones.
Every professor knows the doorway question.
Class ends. Bags zip. Everyone heads out.
Except one student, who hangs back, waits for the room to clear, and says:
“Hey, quick question.”
It’s never a quick question.
It’s usually the real one. The one they couldn’t ask in front of thirty people. Sometimes it’s not about the reading at all. It’s “I don’t know if I belong here.”
And it always comes when I’m packing up, already late for the next thing.
The Myth of No Time
Here’s what we tell ourselves at work: I’d listen better if I had more time.
I don’t buy it.
Most of us don’t have a time problem. We have an attention problem.
We give people twenty minutes of half-listening. Eyes drifting to the screen. Nodding while writing an email in our heads.
They leave feeling like an interruption. And we lose the twenty minutes anyway.
Half-listening is the worst deal there is. You spend the time and don’t earn the trust.
Coaches, you know this one. The athlete walks up while you’re setting hurdles: “Coach, can I talk to you?” Say “not now” with your back turned, and she hears “not ever.”
Two Honest Options
When someone needs you and you’re slammed, you have two honest choices.
Full attention, even briefly. Set the bag down. Turn toward them. “I’ve got five minutes, and they’re yours.” That’s Lesson #4: honesty plus presence equals trust.
A real time later. Not “let’s catch up sometime.” That’s a polite no. Say this instead: “I want to give this my full attention. Can we talk at 3:00?” Then show up at 3:00.
What doesn’t work is the third option: pretending to listen while you’re somewhere else.
One Question That Saves Hours
“Do you need me to listen, or do you need me to help?”
Half the time, they just need to be heard. You don’t have to solve it. You don’t have to schedule a meeting.
You just have to be there for two minutes.
The Practice
The next time someone catches you at the wrong moment, stop. Pick one: full attention now, or a real time later.
No half-listening.
Then watch how much time you get back.
Your turn: What’s your version of the doorway question? Where do people catch you when you’re busiest? Tell me in the comments. I’m listening.
Tomorrow: “Listening Lesson #15: Home (Where Listening Matters Most)”
— Tom Lobaugh | tomlobaugh.com