Everyone needs a little inspiration to get to their next level of success. As a inspiration consultant and motivational speaker I come along side entrepreneurs, organizations, coaches and student athletes, delivering keynote presentations, customized workshops, and individualized coaching that will make a positive impact in your life.
One of the most important gifts you can give someone is your
irreplaceable,
unique,
extraordinary,
nothing-else-like-it-in-the-world,
glorious,
inspiring,
smile.
Good listening embraces genuine and authentic smiling.
Someone today needs your remarkable smile. Really. Completely. Seriously.
Listen. Inspire. Lead.
We spend a lot of time thinking about ourselves.
Effective listeners recognize others for who they are and appreciate their unique qualities. This creates a memorable listening experience where a person’s life matters.
You are the most important person in the world. You are incredibly valuable to the people around you.
When you listen today, let the other know how meaningful they are to you and how grateful you are for what they do.
Listen. Inspire. Lead.
The single most important practice to being an effective listener is breathing.
Good breathing leads to healthy physiological and emotional results from happiness to sparking brain growth. Good breathing is intentional. Good breathing is from your diaphragm and is like drawing on your core for breath.
Taking in three deep breaths before every appointment today will lower your blood pressure and allow your mind the attentiveness you need to focus on the person or people before you. It takes practice.
Our Listening class breathes together three times to start each session. When students are given permission to breathe it fosters a safe space for learning because every student’s breath is valued.
Take a deep breath counting to three. Let your breath out slowly. Repeat.
Listen. Lead. Inspire.
We spend forty-five percent of our communicating life listening.
Listening begins with being quiet.
Mute. Zip it. Shush. Stop talking.
Cork it. Can it. Hush your face.
Shut it. Silence. Not a word. Close your pie hole.
Hold your tongue. Pipe down. Keep mum.
Listen. Lead. Inspire.
When university students reflect on their assumptions about listening after playing The Telephone Game the insights are profound.
“Last I played ‘Telephone’ was in third grade. When we broke into teams I was telling myself, ‘This is going to be great, we’re all in college, we got this.’ We are in college, we didn’t get it, and I did better in third grade.”
Coach Clyde Hart
Listening does not get better or become easier because we age. Effective listening is acquired with practice, and learning good listening skills increases your value and credibility as an employee, manager, entrepreneur, CEO, coach, and public speaker.
Lean in. With the people you are privileged to listen to today, lean into the space and toward the face of the person speaking. The action of leaning in tells your brain and shows the person speaking that their thoughts are important and their presence matters to you.
Listen. Lead. Inspire.
We play The Telephone Game at the start of each semester in our Listening class at Boise State. Afterward, we ask students to reflect on their assumptions about listening.
“Never played this game. You had to like really really focus on the person who is whispering and laughing, try and memorize what they said, and then whisper it to someone else who is laughing too. Impossible!!! Fun, but I blew it.”
Listening and hearing are completely different actions with separate outcomes, like chalk and cheese. Sometimes people want to be heard, sometimes they want to be listened to. How do we know? Ask them. Taking a moment to clarify expectations is an excellent step toward good listening practices and honoring the moment with the person who is speaking with you.
When someone begins talking with you today, as you feel comfortable, step out and ask them what they hope to gain from talking with you. You have the courage and it will make an empowering and positive impact.
Listen. Lead. Inspire.
Ever noticed someone in public expressing feelings of happiness or sadness and thought, “Awkward,” or wondered, “What’s going on with them?” Ever winced after sending a text or an emoji too soon, or wasted thirty seconds trying to find the perfect emoji or words to text? Ever felt encouraged and motivated around someone who knows how to get people inspired?
Everywhere there are people there are emotions. There is no place on the planet where an emotional vacuum exists. Emotions even characterize and motivate every global religious deity from ancient to post-modern eras.
Emotions are important. Emotions are normal. Emotions can get in the way of our greatest accomplishments. Emotions also open us to achievement as we learn to listen to them and put them to work for us.
Did you know each person has an emotional quotient (EQ)? Like everybody with a measurable IQ (intellectual quotient: a ‘mental fitness’ score to see how well our minds think abstractly, solve problems, and reason), everyone has an identifiable EQ (an ‘emotional fitness’ score to see how well we identify, control, and manage our own feelings and the feelings of others).
Becoming aware of our EQ is useful knowledge to improve and develop how we value our emotions and the emotions of the people around us. Our EQ can be nurtured like good parenting helps a family develop into maturity.
Here are three things you can do today to help better "coach-up" your EQ:
1) Identify your Emotions & Validate them: Do a self-emo check. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling?” “Why am I feeling this way?” Listen to your answer. It is appropriate and ok for you to feel this way. Breathe.
2) Identify their Emotions: Take another deep breath. Look and Listen to the person or those in the room. Look at each of the people and groups of people and see what their faces, body posture, and body language are telling you. Ask yourself, “What does that emotion look like to me,” and, “What is the vibe in the room feel like to me?” Listen to your answer. Tell yourself, “Ok, this is the way I understand them or the room to be feeling.”
3) Put your Emotions to Work: Now that you know more, ask yourself, “What is the most important and constructive way to respond?” Whatever the reasons others are feeling the way they are feeling, you can choose to act with compassion, empathy, and vulnerability. Remove the conjunction “but” from your language and use “and” or only clear declarative sentences with no conjunction at all. Take another deep breath and ask, “What is the issue we are dealing with?” Listen to the answer(s). Ask for clarity about the issue or concern. “What is the goal for today to keep us moving forward?”
Achieving success in life is a journey. Trails leading toward accomplishment focus on a clear vision and are carved out with daily personal goals. Along the way important adjustments are vital to stay the course in spite of anything that comes. A guide who leads with knowledge, wisdom, and encouragement is essential to keep moving forward and realizing the vision. All of the effort and accomplishments belong to the explorer. How they get there is up to the guide. Excellent communication and clear language become a bridge to achieving success in life. The words we choose create meaning. Our speech and gestures must inspire confidence in self and ignite heroic action.
Hussaini Hanging Bridge
When communication falls short and language is dismissed, interpersonal relationships are like trying to cross this bridge. Doable, but exhaustive, unstable, fearful, uncertain, frustrating, stressful, and where many choose to give up.
Aiola Island Bridge
Adding meaning to another's life creates healthy relationships where trust, responsibility, value, empowerment, gratitude, encouragement, and happiness lead to their greatest triumph.
Here are some helps to create worth in someone's life today:
Share a word of Encouragement and Gratitude. For each person who participated in your success today encourage them with a positive action you saw and thank them. Make eye contact. Call them by name.
You can never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever Over-communicate. Be specific and clear about what is expected today to accomplish goals. Ask questions for clarity and understanding. Be aware of context.
Gateshead Millennium Bridge
Be Yourself. Do a self-evaluation each day. Check your physical health every day and check in with your feelings throughout the day. Ask yourself, "How am I feeling today?" "Why am I feeling this way?" Leave any personal or business emo-issues at home, in the car, in the classroom, office, or garbage can. Breathe. Remember who you are and why you are here. Smile. Focus on today’s goals and take them one at a time.
Listen. Breathe, lean in, make eye contact, and focus on them. Ask what they learned today. Ask for specifics and for clarity. Coaches: Listen to how athletes are breathing. Listen to how they enter practice and leave practice. Trust your gut and make a decision. Athletes: Listen to your coach’s words and body language. Ask questions of what to improve when you get the coach alone. Listen to your muscles. Listen to your desire and the vision of accomplishment. Entrepreneurs: Listen to your intuition. Listen to your employees. Listen to every customer complaint as if it were someone investing 200K in your company.
Be Congruent. Are the words coming out of your mouth matching up with what your face is saying? Practice in front of a mirror. Be genuine.
Evaluate the Day. What did you learn from your actions today? What can you do to improve for tomorrow? Write it down. Let today go.
Dr. Tom Lobaugh Inspiration Consultant
