Week 3 starts today. We’ve built the skills. Now we take them into real life: celebration, conflict, grief, work, home.

We’re starting with the one nobody thinks needs practice.

Good news.

The Victory Lap

A high jumper clears a personal best. First time ever over that height.

She pops up out of the pit and sprints straight at me. Grinning. Arms up.

And I say: “Nice. Your plant foot was off, need’s to ge more parallel, though. Fix that and there’s another two inches in there.”

I watched the grin leave her face.

I wasn’t wrong. Her plant foot was off. But she didn’t run over for a technical note. She ran over to share the moment with someone.

I took it and turned it into practice.

We’re Better at Bad News

Here’s what I’ve noticed: most of us listen better when someone is struggling.

Pain tells us to slow down. Lean in. Ask questions.

Joy doesn’t. Joy feels finished. So we answer fast and move on:

“Congrats! So what’s next?” Straight to the next goal.

“That’s great. When I got my PR…” Taking the stage.

“Nice. But…” Coaching the victory lap.

“Cool.” Eyes still on the phone.

None of these are cruel. They’re just quick. And quick tells someone their moment wasn’t worth much of yours.

There’s research behind this, too. How people respond to our good news shapes trust at least as much as how they show up for our bad news.

Listen to the Moment

Celebration uses the same skills as everything else. Stop talking. Lean in. Ask.

“Tell me about it.”

“What was going through your head right before?”

“What did that feel like?”

Then let them relive it. Out loud. With you.

Shared joy gets bigger. When joy gets brushed aside, it gets smaller, and people learn to stop bringing it to you.

The Practice

Today, the next time someone shares good news, skip the next step.

No advice. No next goal. No “but.”

Ask one question about the moment itself. Then listen to the whole answer.

The plant foot can wait until tomorrow.

It took me too long to learn that. The jump came out of a hundred practices. The moment after it belonged to her. My job was to be there for her.

Your turn: Who celebrated with you really well? What did they do? Tell me in the comments. I’m listening.

Tomorrow: “Listening Lesson #12: Conflict (When You’re the One Who’s Angry)”

— Tom Lobaugh | tomlobaugh.com