When the conversation doesn't end with the series.
Five days ago, I started writing about something that's been haunting me: the finality of death and the urgency of dialogue while we're still living.
I wrote about the young pastor and political activist I never engaged with. The empty chairs in my classroom. The difference between true revival and false martyrdom. The lost art of beautiful arguments. And finally, the simple, radical choice we have each day: to listen, speak, and repeat.
Then I hit "publish" on that last post and sat with an unexpected question: What now?
The Responses
Some of you reached out privately. Others liked. A few just said, "Keep going."
One colleague wrote: "This made me think about my own avoided conversations. I'm not ready to have them yet, but at least I'm aware now."
A former student: "The empty chairs post wrecked me. I'm a teacher now. I get it."
A parent: "I argued with my teenager last night. A real argument. It was uncomfortable and honest and... it was good. Thank you."
These responses remind me why I write: not to have all the answers, but to create space for the questions that matter.
The Threads That Continue
"Living Dialogue" was about urgency—the conversations we're putting off, the people we're not engaging, the time we think we have but might not.
And here's what I'm realizing: urgency alone isn't enough. We need skills. We need practice. We need to know how to have those difficult, beautiful, transformative conversations. That's where I'm headed next.
What's Coming
Starting tomorrow, I'm launching a new series: "Listening Lessons."
Because before we can have meaningful dialogue, we have to learn to truly listen. Not just hear, listen. There's a massive difference, and most of us were never taught the distinction.
These won't be heavy, philosophical posts like "Living Dialogue." They'll be practical, skill-focused, sometimes uncomfortable lessons drawn from:
My communication and ethics classrooms
Coaching track and field
Businesses and non-profit work
Countless conversations that went well (and many that didn't)
My ongoing research on how we actually connect with each other
Each post will give you one specific skill or insight you can practice that day. Real tools for real conversations.
And I Need Your Help
Before I dive in, I want to know:
What resonated with you from "Living Dialogue"? Was it the urgency? The specific stories? The challenge to engage across differences?
What conversations are you still avoiding? You don't have to name names, but what's the pattern? Political differences? Family conflicts? Professional disagreements? Personal hurt?
What stops you from engaging? Fear of conflict? Not knowing what to say? Worried about making things worse? Just... exhausted?
Your answers will help me write what you actually need, not just what I think sounds good.
The Invitation
"Living Dialogue" was about recognizing that the dead can't change, but the living can.
"Listening Lessons" is about learning how to change, how to engage, how to listen, how to have those beautiful arguments that might just transform us all.
The empty chairs are still empty. The avoided conversations are still avoided. But tomorrow morning, we wake up with choices the dead no longer possess.
Let's learn how to use them well.
Tomorrow: "Listening Lesson #1: The Gift of Being Heard"
Drop a comment or send me a message. I'm genuinely curious what brought you to these posts and what you're taking away. And if "Living Dialogue" made you think of someone who needs to read it, share it. These conversations matter.
Dr. Tom Lobaugh teaches communication and ethics at Boise State University, coached high school track and field for 20 years, and is completing his PhD in Psychology with an emphasis in Performance. Learn more at tomlobaugh.com