Everyone needs a little inspiration to get to their next level of success. As a inspiration consultant and motivational speaker I come along side entrepreneurs, organizations, coaches and student athletes, delivering keynote presentations, customized workshops, and individualized coaching that will make a positive impact in your life.
We spend forty-five percent of our communicating life listening.
Listening begins with being quiet.
Mute. Zip it. Shush. Stop talking.
Cork it. Can it. Hush your face.
Shut it. Silence. Not a word. Close your pie hole.
Hold your tongue. Pipe down. Keep mum.
Listen. Lead. Inspire.
When university students reflect on their assumptions about listening after playing The Telephone Game the insights are profound.
“Last I played ‘Telephone’ was in third grade. When we broke into teams I was telling myself, ‘This is going to be great, we’re all in college, we got this.’ We are in college, we didn’t get it, and I did better in third grade.”
Coach Clyde Hart
Listening does not get better or become easier because we age. Effective listening is acquired with practice, and learning good listening skills increases your value and credibility as an employee, manager, entrepreneur, CEO, coach, and public speaker.
Lean in. With the people you are privileged to listen to today, lean into the space and toward the face of the person speaking. The action of leaning in tells your brain and shows the person speaking that their thoughts are important and their presence matters to you.
Listen. Lead. Inspire.
We play The Telephone Game at the start of each semester in our Listening class at Boise State. Afterward, we ask students to reflect on their assumptions about listening.
“Never played this game. You had to like really really focus on the person who is whispering and laughing, try and memorize what they said, and then whisper it to someone else who is laughing too. Impossible!!! Fun, but I blew it.”
Listening and hearing are completely different actions with separate outcomes, like chalk and cheese. Sometimes people want to be heard, sometimes they want to be listened to. How do we know? Ask them. Taking a moment to clarify expectations is an excellent step toward good listening practices and honoring the moment with the person who is speaking with you.
When someone begins talking with you today, as you feel comfortable, step out and ask them what they hope to gain from talking with you. You have the courage and it will make an empowering and positive impact.
Listen. Lead. Inspire.
Ever noticed someone in public expressing feelings of happiness or sadness and thought, “Awkward,” or wondered, “What’s going on with them?” Ever winced after sending a text or an emoji too soon, or wasted thirty seconds trying to find the perfect emoji or words to text? Ever felt encouraged and motivated around someone who knows how to get people inspired?
Everywhere there are people there are emotions. There is no place on the planet where an emotional vacuum exists. Emotions even characterize and motivate every global religious deity from ancient to post-modern eras.
Emotions are important. Emotions are normal. Emotions can get in the way of our greatest accomplishments. Emotions also open us to achievement as we learn to listen to them and put them to work for us.
Did you know each person has an emotional quotient (EQ)? Like everybody with a measurable IQ (intellectual quotient: a ‘mental fitness’ score to see how well our minds think abstractly, solve problems, and reason), everyone has an identifiable EQ (an ‘emotional fitness’ score to see how well we identify, control, and manage our own feelings and the feelings of others).
Becoming aware of our EQ is useful knowledge to improve and develop how we value our emotions and the emotions of the people around us. Our EQ can be nurtured like good parenting helps a family develop into maturity.
Here are three things you can do today to help better "coach-up" your EQ:
1) Identify your Emotions & Validate them: Do a self-emo check. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling?” “Why am I feeling this way?” Listen to your answer. It is appropriate and ok for you to feel this way. Breathe.
2) Identify their Emotions: Take another deep breath. Look and Listen to the person or those in the room. Look at each of the people and groups of people and see what their faces, body posture, and body language are telling you. Ask yourself, “What does that emotion look like to me,” and, “What is the vibe in the room feel like to me?” Listen to your answer. Tell yourself, “Ok, this is the way I understand them or the room to be feeling.”
3) Put your Emotions to Work: Now that you know more, ask yourself, “What is the most important and constructive way to respond?” Whatever the reasons others are feeling the way they are feeling, you can choose to act with compassion, empathy, and vulnerability. Remove the conjunction “but” from your language and use “and” or only clear declarative sentences with no conjunction at all. Take another deep breath and ask, “What is the issue we are dealing with?” Listen to the answer(s). Ask for clarity about the issue or concern. “What is the goal for today to keep us moving forward?”
Achieving success in life is a journey. Trails leading toward accomplishment focus on a clear vision and are carved out with daily personal goals. Along the way important adjustments are vital to stay the course in spite of anything that comes. A guide who leads with knowledge, wisdom, and encouragement is essential to keep moving forward and realizing the vision. All of the effort and accomplishments belong to the explorer. How they get there is up to the guide. Excellent communication and clear language become a bridge to achieving success in life. The words we choose create meaning. Our speech and gestures must inspire confidence in self and ignite heroic action.
Hussaini Hanging Bridge
When communication falls short and language is dismissed, interpersonal relationships are like trying to cross this bridge. Doable, but exhaustive, unstable, fearful, uncertain, frustrating, stressful, and where many choose to give up.
Aiola Island Bridge
Adding meaning to another's life creates healthy relationships where trust, responsibility, value, empowerment, gratitude, encouragement, and happiness lead to their greatest triumph.
Here are some helps to create worth in someone's life today:
Share a word of Encouragement and Gratitude. For each person who participated in your success today encourage them with a positive action you saw and thank them. Make eye contact. Call them by name.
You can never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever Over-communicate. Be specific and clear about what is expected today to accomplish goals. Ask questions for clarity and understanding. Be aware of context.
Gateshead Millennium Bridge
Be Yourself. Do a self-evaluation each day. Check your physical health every day and check in with your feelings throughout the day. Ask yourself, "How am I feeling today?" "Why am I feeling this way?" Leave any personal or business emo-issues at home, in the car, in the classroom, office, or garbage can. Breathe. Remember who you are and why you are here. Smile. Focus on today’s goals and take them one at a time.
Listen. Breathe, lean in, make eye contact, and focus on them. Ask what they learned today. Ask for specifics and for clarity. Coaches: Listen to how athletes are breathing. Listen to how they enter practice and leave practice. Trust your gut and make a decision. Athletes: Listen to your coach’s words and body language. Ask questions of what to improve when you get the coach alone. Listen to your muscles. Listen to your desire and the vision of accomplishment. Entrepreneurs: Listen to your intuition. Listen to your employees. Listen to every customer complaint as if it were someone investing 200K in your company.
Be Congruent. Are the words coming out of your mouth matching up with what your face is saying? Practice in front of a mirror. Be genuine.
Evaluate the Day. What did you learn from your actions today? What can you do to improve for tomorrow? Write it down. Let today go.
Dr. Tom Lobaugh Inspiration Consultant
Hayward Field 2015 Oregon Relays
Taylor, Kolbi, Jenny, and Jordan were ranked in the top twelve of the 2014 women’s outdoor high jumpers in the state of Idaho. They are good athletes. It was an honor to coach them and the other high jumpers this 2015 season. Thank you to Greg Harm and the coaching staff at Eagle High. I'll be speaking of the other jumpers and the 2015 season in later newsletters.
During 2014 Jenny, Taylor, Jordan, and Kolbi maintained a starting height of 4’6” & 4’8” and had completed competitions with 4’10” 5' & Jenny's exciting state winning jump of 5’4.” When asked at the end of last season how high they wanted to jump the next season, what their individual dream goal heights might be, they responded 5’6," and each of them wanted a shot at the school record. 5’ 6.25.”
During the off-season we used a visualization exercise and raised their practice height to 5’0” and kept the new standard before them. The jumpers were encouraged to also put pencil marks around their house of their goal height and feel themselves soaring over it every day. One practice brought cold damp 40 mile an hour gusts from two directions into the mats and Jordan flew over 5'2."
At the beginning of this season we encouraged a starting height to be a bar set at 5’0.” There was push back and concern at starting their competition at such a high height. We talked about breathing and energy. Jordan was asked to compete in her other events for the season. Kolbi, Taylor, and Jenny were our three competitors in high jump. Jenny had a bothersome muscle strain on her jump leg and most of the way through the season she took time off to heal and prepare to compete at state.
Kolbi and Taylor's combined attempts at the women's high jump record in 2015 totaled nine times in eleven meets. Nine meets at 5'6" means they attempted 27 jumps in competition because they each get 3 attempts to clear the bar. Neither of them had cleared 5”4” in competition before the 2015 season and both Taylor and Kolbi eclipsed that height in their first two meets. Just like the champion she is Jenny finished strong and achieved the goal she wanted at state. Several of Taylor and Kolbi's attempts at 5'6" were so inspiring to their family, friends, competitors, and coaches our groans could be heard on the moon.
The jumpers ability to consistently visualize achieving their goal and continue to train at a new levels is what created a memorable and empowering journey along the way to each of their success. The men's and women's high jumping season of celebration and wonder, missed attempts and getting huge air, exhausted minds and bodies from training and overcoming obstacles, head games and victory laps, gave them clarity of what they can accomplish as athletes and teammates, and best of all they discovered more about who they truly are.
High jumpers offer this important perspective on attaining the goals you dream of.
You can achieve your dreams and your journey to your goal will be incredible.
Dr. Tom Lobaugh
What we say & How we say it, Transforms lives.
Every sales person or customer, student or teacher, guest or friend, family or teammate will be directly and indirectly influenced not just by what you say; they will be transformed by how you say it. How many meetings have you attended when the air in the room was suddenly sucked away by an issue shared with a patronizing and hurtful tone of voice? Meetings become quiet, choking, and non-productive.
Discovering your genuine and authentic tone of voice takes embracing who you are with love. The one action step you can take today is: Briefly write down the happiest event or moment in your life. Answer each next question with two or three words. How did you feel during the event? What words best describe how you felt after the event? What do you remember most about yourself in that specific moment of happiness? You should have at least three and possibly nine describing words of your greatest happiness. Complete this statement with every word you came up with:
I am _________, __________, _________, _________, ________. When the statement is complete read it out loud. Put the statement on your mirror and read it every morning and evening out loud. This action step will also help you create an attitude of great value for any person you are communicating with.
When others listen to your words with your genuineness and sincere tone their life in that moment should be an experience of tremendous value. You hold the empowering choice to accept and celebrate who you are, claim an attitude of positivity, and choose words and phrases with a tone of encouragement.
What we say & How we say it, Transforms lives.
Congratulations to Chase Bank, Capitol Plaza Team Boise, Idaho and to Stephanie Nielson & Holly Wells our first quarter recipients of the 3C’s of Excellent Customer Service!
Stephanie and Holly consistently provide a superior customer service for their clients that includes Cultivating a long awaited attitude, Creating a welcoming space, and Communicating with class. Thank you to Kevin Guth, Vice President and Branch Manager for helping to create an atmosphere where excellent customer service is awarded and applauded.
3C's logo provided by Amy Levitus, freelance graphic designer, Lemonade Chi.
